I’ve been a widow for a while now, so I guess those people in my life who love me are getting desperate. I try not to take offense, I know they mean well, but it doesn’t change the fact that it still hurts when my ninety-two year old aunt tells me, “you’re too young to be alone. You should meet a nice man.”
Even my sister who I love, love, love can’t help but ask me every time I see or talk to her, “do you have a boyfriend yet?”
Sister, “I don’t believe you, I think you’re lying.”
“Really? Why would I lie about that?” My best friend says I’m never going to meet anyone, because I never leave my house, except to go to work and my Prince Charming isn’t just going to knock on my door. I don’t know why not? Let him come to me, if he’s out there.
In eight years I’ve been on two dates, both were disasters. Both seemed to be very nice fellows, but the first one spent half of our date talking to some people, at another table, at the restaurant who he knew and the other half telling me about medical journals he had read about the issue that killed my husband. Yep he went there. The second man also seemed very nice. After talking for five minutes we realized that he knew my brother…okay this was good right? He then spent the date gulping down his food and asking lots of questions about my extended family. He did call me early the next morning, seemed embarrassed that he had woke me despite the fact I assured him it was okay, but then never called me again. Sorry I know it’s a modern time, but I couldn’t bring myself to call him.
All day long I interact with men in my evil day job. They range from twenty year olds away from home for the first time, to eighty year olds with one foot in the grave. Those who tend to be around my age are always very married. I don’t even know any men my age who aren’t married. And at this point I’ve been on my own so long I’m not sure I could tolerate a man. I mean the other day I came home from work and ate a bowl of cheerios, two chocolate chip cookies and a handful of chips for supper, took my dog for a walk, read for three hours and went to bed. Now I ask you do you know any men that would fit into that life?
Earlier this year, a friend of mine had thought she found the man of her dreams. They were the most perfect couple, totally book worthy, until he dumped her and shattered her heart into tiny little pieces. Turned out he was actually just an ass. If a man can’t love someone who is young, beautiful, educated and has a wonderful career what chance do I have? I might have commitment issues, trust issues or maybe I’ve seen too many episodes of Snapped.
So last night I had a dream I was driving down a road in a convertible and winged creatures kept popping up shooting arrows at me. I told a friend at work and she smiled and said it was cupid and a love would soon come into my life. I snorted and said I don’t think so because I dodged all the arrows, not a one hit me. Guess I’m just going to stick with book boyfriends…that’s okay they are perfect aren’t they? I’m no doubt ruined for a real man anyway.
A have a new book coming out soon. The third in the series The Men of Tennessee. Keep an eye out for Mended Heart of Stone, more to come on that later.