sexy book time

I’ve been a widow for a while now, so I guess those people in my life who love me are getting desperate. I try not to take offense, I know they mean well, but it doesn’t change the fact that it still hurts when my ninety-two year old aunt tells me, “you’re too young to be alone. You should meet a nice man.”

 Even my sister who I love, love, love can’t help but ask me every time I see or talk to her, “do you have a boyfriend yet?”

 Me, “No.”

 Sister, “I don’t believe you, I think you’re lying.”

“Really? Why would I lie about that?” My best friend says I’m never going to meet anyone, because I never leave my house, except to go to work and my Prince Charming isn’t just going to knock on my door. I don’t know why not? Let him come to me, if he’s out there.

In eight years I’ve been on two dates, both were disasters. Both seemed to be very nice fellows, but the first one spent half of our date talking to some people, at another table, at the restaurant who he knew and the other half telling me about medical journals he had read about the issue that killed my husband. Yep he went there. The second man also seemed very nice. After talking for five minutes we realized that he knew my brother…okay this was good right? He then spent the date gulping down his food and asking lots of questions about my extended family. He did call me early the next morning, seemed embarrassed that he had woke me despite the fact I assured him it was okay, but then never called me again. Sorry I know it’s a modern time, but I couldn’t bring myself to call him.

All day long I interact with men in my evil day job. They range from twenty year olds away from home for the first time, to eighty year olds with one foot in the grave. Those who tend to be around my age are always very married. I don’t even know any men my age who aren’t married. And at this point I’ve been on my own so long I’m not sure I could tolerate a man. I mean the other day I came home from work and ate a bowl of cheerios, two chocolate chip cookies and a handful of chips for supper, took my dog for a walk, read for three hours and went to bed. Now I ask you do you know any men that would fit into that life?

Earlier this year, a friend of mine had thought she found the man of her dreams. They were the most perfect couple, totally book worthy, until he dumped her and shattered her heart into tiny little pieces. Turned out he was actually just an ass. If a man can’t love someone who is young, beautiful, educated and has a wonderful career what chance do I have? I might have commitment issues, trust issues or maybe I’ve seen too many episodes of Snapped.

So last night I had a dream I was driving down a road in a convertible and winged creatures kept popping up shooting arrows at me. I told a friend at work and she smiled and said it was cupid and a love would soon come into my life. I snorted and said I don’t think so because I dodged all the arrows, not a one hit me. Guess I’m just going to stick with book boyfriends…that’s okay they are perfect aren’t they? I’m no doubt ruined for a real man anyway.

A have a new book coming out soon. The third in the series The Men of Tennessee. Keep an eye out for Mended Heart of Stone, more to come on that later.

     I believe in love. I have seen it with my own eyes. I have felt it in my own fluttering heartbeat. The enduring strength of a marriage of more than 70 years and the healing power of its touch can be life affirming and life changing. We’ve all read the stories of the couples who are married for years, only to die hours apart. If you have been blessed enough in your life to have loved and been loved then you understand what I’m saying.

But, when love goes wrong, when it turns ugly, when love ends or turns to hate there can be nothing more devastating. Unfortunately, over the past two months I have had a front row seat to the ugly side of love. And like a thrown pebble in a smooth pond the ripples have spread and many left hurt and shaking their head with disbelief.

     Until yesterday I worked with a young woman who I had come to think of as not just a co-worker, but a friend. She is a beautiful, educated, compassionate, hard-working young woman, who followed a soldier to our fair city and blessed us with her joyful laughter. Her and said soldier seemed to have it all. They are young, healthy, attractive, well-traveled, and set financially. He’s an American hero and she the beautiful doctor who was madly in love with him. We rejoiced in their engagement and took delight in listening to them plan their lavish east coast wedding. We helped her pick out her wedding dress and helped comfort her when he left for two deployments over the past three years. We released a sigh of relief and prayed relentlessly that he would make it home safe. And when he did we thanked the heavens.

     Two months ago, he announced that he loved her, but he didn’t think he wanted to get married. When she came to work that day heartbroken, devastated, shattered, we were all shocked. No one saw that coming, least of all her. When I looked at her face it reminded me of the face I saw in the mirror after the death of my husband…blank, empty and pain filled. She stayed with him two months, trying to get him to talk to her, to talk to anyone, but he would only say he didn’t know what was wrong. PTSD is suspected by all who know him; even though there are whispers among some that there must be another woman. His parents loved her, her parents loved him and all loved them as a couple. She finally gave up yesterday and headed back east to try and get her life back on track. We miss her already.

     If you have love you truly have everything.

     On a happier note, March 10^th I have a new book coming out with Evernight Publishing. Hott ‘N Handy is a fun little ménage. If it sounds like something you would enjoy, please take the time to pick it up.

Thank you

As southerners, when we say, “the more the merrier,” we mean it we sincerely do. However when it comes to erotica is more…better? On a popular e-book selling website, I couldn’t help but notice that books with multiple partners seem to be very popular. Now for me personally I am a one-woman-one-man kind of girl. I like to read M/F and I prefer to write M/F. With that said I have written ménage a trios in the past. My story Cowboy Combo was my first All Romance bestseller. I fell in love with brothers Shane and Sam and felt feisty little Piper was perfect for the two of them. But with this trend of M/F/MMMM…really? Is that even possible?

In fairness maybe I should have read one just to see how everything…ahem…fits together, so to speak. But just thinking about it, it seems very confusing to keep straight and honestly somewhat impossible to me. When I broke the news to my mother that I was writing erotica her question was, “so what’s the difference between erotica and porn?”

I explained it like this. In erotica, they love and care for each other. Yes they have sex and that is explained quite explicitly with lots of “dirty words” and they may not realize that they love each other when they are having sex, but eventually they come to realize it. Porn is just sex for the sake of sex.

Is it possible for a woman to love multiple men at once? Is having multiple partners pushing the envelope of what is considered porn and what is erotica? I would love to hear your thoughts on what constituent’s erotica and what is just plain porn, maybe I need to re-explain this to my mother.

I should have been born a bear. If it wasn’t for the fact I can’t go more than three hours without sticking food in my mouth I could totally hibernate during the winter. Everything I need is in my house…food, books, movies, phone and my computer. Let me just stay inside until the temperature hits sixty-eight and stays there. Think of the work I could get done. I currently have about ten books started and saved, a list of possible book ideas and dozens of characters yakking in my head waiting to get out. Yet when it’s four degrees outside and four inches of snow with two inches of ice underneath it, I have to drag myself out the door before the sun rises. Last year we got our biggest snow fall in years about eight inches. I tried to call out of work at the evil day job, only to have my boss drive to my house and pick me up. Don’t poke the sleeping bear people! It hasn’t hit yet, as a matter of fact it has been unseasonably warm…but it’s coming.

I live in Tennessee! It’s not like I’m in South Dakota with forty feet of snow and a wind chill factor of thirty below. I would never survive that I know for a fact. The older I get the harder it is for me to tolerate winter. I can’t drive on it and I sure can’t walk on it. Five years ago I tried and got a concussion, broken tailbone and a broken wrist for my efforts. Sadly, I have still not won the lottery. So I must plug away over the weekend and drag myself out into the frozen tundra Monday through Friday.

But a new year is upon us. Let’s snuggle up and read some good books and hopefully in my case write some good ones. If you haven’t checked out my Men of Tennessee series please do so, if it’s cold where you are maybe it will warm you up.

Happy New Year!

I haven’t been here in a while, because my “funk” continues. The holidays are a hard time for me. It’s a time that I have a tendency to to be a little depressed, missing my husband, missing my dad, and missing the ghosts of Christmases past. I have no little ones in my immediate family so, without children, Christmas is just not the same. But I try and go through the motions and do what society seems to expect of me…the tree, the presents, the food…

I haven’t written much in the past couple of months, my sadness seems to take a toll on that as well. However, with that said I do have a new book coming out this week; Cast In Stone is the second book in the series, The Men of Tennessee. It’s Beau and Delaney’s story and I hope you like it. The cover is stunning isn’t it? Thank you, Edie Connors! As a special incentive, the merry elves at my publisher, Dark Hollows Press, have made the download of Stone Hard, the first book in the series, free on their website. They have also dropped the price to .99 at all other websites. So please take the time to check them out and leave an honest review. Thank you and have a Merry Christmas.

I’m in a funk. The past few weeks have been real downers to say the least. I was on such a high for my sister and mom’s visit and our family reunion, which by the way was awesome. I then had the following week off work, but as Sunday neared and Monday loomed like an axe over my head, everything thing just kind of fell apart.

While my sister was here we found out quite by accident that she was diabetic. It is a raging epidemic in my family. My sister is younger than me, very active, not obese and generally eats very healthy. It was a shock to us all. As I was checking my blood sugar and she told me she hadn’t been feeling very well. On a lark I checked hers as well and much to our surprise her blood sugar was close to 300, almost 3 times the normal. Let’s just say my sister is awesome, she took the news much better than I.

Sunday I also received a call from a hysterical cousin. Her mother, my Aunt Betty had just suddenly died of a heart attack. Yes she was elderly, but she was also active and her death was a shock. As I stood at the gravesite, next to my dad’s headstone, I was almost overcome with grieve at how many funerals I have had to attend. How many loved ones I have seen leave this world. Aunt Betty you will be missed.

The past couple of weeks have resulted in more disappointing news and two coworkers who are getting on my last damn nerve! So today, I’m going to curl up in my favorite chair and on this rainy, gloomy Halloween read one of my favorite authors. Jacci DeVera, has just come out with a new book and she is awesome. I truly enjoyed her last book Heavy Handed and have no doubt I will love this one just as much. Nothing gets me out of a funk faster than a good book. So if you haven’t discovered Jacci yet, I urge you to try one of her books. I’m sure she will inspire me to get back to writing. Like the proverbial buttercup, I’m going to suck it up and move on.

As I sit and write this I have to admit, I’m a little sad. Today is the last day of my week long vacation. Monday I head back to the evil day job. I haven’t missed it. I have enjoyed every minute of being off. I filled this week with all things I love.

Family, my sister and mom came down from Indiana and along with my mom’s side of the family we had a family reunion of about 150-200 people strong. It was a beautiful day and a wonderful time spent with family. I love these peps!

Friends, on Monday my besties MJ, Barb, Di, and I made our yearly trip to MO to visit Lamberts. We’ve been going every year for the past ten years. We had a day-long trip in which we visited some new sites, did a little antiquing, some geocaching and generally just enjoyed each other’s company. We all work and have families and sometimes it’s just hard to get together.

Food, I have surely gained ten pounds this week. I have eaten some amazing food. From the family reunion to Lamberts to my own kitchen…if I’m off much longer I may not be able to waddle through the door.

Reading, it would not have been time off if I hadn’t made time to read. There is nothing more enjoyable then sitting out on my deck in the glorious Tennessee autumn reading a good book. Finished one started another…moving on.

Writing, I did do a little work this week. I received back the first round of my edits on Cast in Stone, due out in November. It was ugly. I’m pretty sure the editor hates me, but I finished and sent it back and am working on another story. Sorry Ashley.

I really like this not-going-to-work stuff. I just need to figure out a way I can make a living without leaving my house. I’ll get back to you when I figure it out.

Is bigger better? It’s an age old question. I of course am referring to the size of your book. So far all of my books have been on the shorter side; my biggest Loving Dragon is just under 25,000 words. My shortest, August’s Heat is just over 8,000. As a reader I tend to enjoy books on the shorter side. I think because I feel I can read more stories and experience more authors that way. Kind of like a buffet dinner (yeah with me it always goes back to food) I can just sample more that way.

Of course there are always those books that we never want to end, that can never be long enough. I’ve closed those books and cried because I was done. But those books for me are rare, kind of like Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner, just come around once or twice a year. I hate reading a book that should have ended chapters ago, yet the author dragged it out way past it’s time just to get a higher word count.

And that brings me too another question. Does a bigger word count equal a bigger price tag? Certainly to a point it should, more work went into it. So I know I am willing to pay more for a bigger book. I am also willing to pay more for a book verses an e-book.

I guess it’s not really the size, but how that size is used. If it’s a good book, no matter the word count it will be enjoyed. As for the size of the price tag, that is going to vary by publisher, author name, and yes, book size all play a part in the price. But in the end the reader wins, there are all sizes of stories and all prices and even tons of good “free” e-books. It’s a smorgasbord that can be enjoyed by all. Go read something!

P.S. There will not be a post from me next week. I have out of town guest coming in and a huge family reunion, followed by a weeks’ vacation. I hope to return with lots of inspiration! Thank you J T.

Food. I have an obsession that probably started in the womb. I no doubt I was kicking mama in the ribs begging for Grandma Nick’s macaroni and cheese or perhaps Aunt Chichi’s fried chicken. I have the Food Network Channel on almost ten hours a day, even at the evil day job it runs in the background. Every female and some of the males in my family are wonderful cooks. So I came by my obsession honestly. Not only do I love to eat, I love to cook too. Nothing gives me as much satisfaction as feeding hungry people; as a matter of fact the only thing that comes close is finishing one of my books. That feeling of creating something that could possibly bring happiness and joy to others is what I crave. Hopefully it does, that’s the plan anyway. When reading one of my stories, you may notice that food is always mentioned. In a previous post I wrote about keeping things real, well in real life people eat. I have read entire books where food was not mentioned…what the heck? How long do you go without eating?

Maybe it’s just me and my weird obsession with food. Maybe I should have been a chef like Piper in my book Cowboy Combo. Or own a bakery like Hunter in Sweet Hearts. Even Kate in Mastered by the Mothman ate. She had been kidnapped by a giant Mothman, ravished and held in a cave, but hey a girl still has to eat…right?

At eighteen I married a man who was type 1 Diabetic and one of our sons would become type 1 Diabetic at the age of eight. That certainly changed how I cooked and what we ate as a family. My kind of cooking is southern, warm and homey and not healthy by any means. So I guess it was only a matter of time that I too would follow the footsteps of Dad and Grandma and become type 2 Diabetic. It’s not fun and I don’t get to eat what I want anymore, so please allow me the pleasure of living vicariously through my characters as they eat.

When I went to Nashville to the author conference in April, I had the pleasure of sharing a lunch table with a young woman who was a fan of reading. I know this because she told me so. She also told me that she preferred to read fantasy and paranormal. She wanted to escape her life and go somewhere else; somewhere she could never go in real life she said. For the most part I feel like I’m just the opposite in many ways. I want to go somewhere else too, but right now I want it to be somewhere that I might actually be able to go, that is if I were to be a young, reasonably attractive, adventurous young woman…I am not. But the books I like to read and write for the most part, are books of what I would call average people. No one is dead, no one shifts into wolfs, no one bites anyone and becomes immortal. My characters are people you may know, doing things you may do, and they just happen to fall in love. But despite the fact that they are the ones that have brought me to this dance, I may want to leave with someone else. In other words I may want to write about something other than average people someday.

Some authors have made names for themselves writing in one category and one category only. There are authors who only write westerns or shifter stories or vampire books etc. and it’s really worked for them. I can see where it would be a smart marketing tool and so far my stories, other than Mastered by the Mothman, have been about average, every day people finding love. But that’s not to say that I will only write in that category. I want to stretch my imagination and go where it takes me. Despite the old adage that if it’s working for you why change? Why? Because I don’t want to pigeon hole myself into only one writing category. Vampires, shifters, paranormal and sci-fi are very popular and I have read some very good books in these categories that I enjoyed very much. One day I hope to follow my imagination to a story that falls away from normal people…you know just to keep from landing into a rut.

If only. If only I had three or four friends who love to read as much as me. If only one of them was super-techy and could build and maintain us an awesome web site. We could have a book blog that reviews books and could just sit back and have author’s sending us their books to read for free. Of course I realize this can be stressful, at times sites get overwhelmed and can no longer except books, or even have a backlog of several months. As a newer author it has been a struggle to get reviews. Getting a book blog with thousands of followers to review one of my books could be a huge advantage and we all know this, which is why we try so hard to get reviewed by a book blog site. I have sent several polite emails over the past year in hopes of getting someone to review one of my books and this week one has responded, asked for my book Stone Hard and has promised to review it. I am so excited, and grateful. I am keeping my fingers crossed that she likes my story. I feel so blessed to have this opportunity. There are so many authors struggling to get their names out there and to get people to read their books.

Something that I have noticed among some of the bigger book blogs is that they are reviewing the same books and the same well-known authors. Of course I understand how much more exciting it is to read a well-written book by one of your favorite authors verses reading one by an unknown author. No one wants to waste time reading a bad book when there are so many good ones available, after all life is too short to waste on a bad book. But I am challenging the BB reviewers to step outside their box, take a chance on unknown authors. Discover that next big name, or your new favorite. As an author and especially as a reader, you could be doing the world a huge favor. The power that you weld to make or break an author is daunting. Be kind and honest in your reviews and remember we are all in this for the same reason; we want to read good books.

When it comes to what I like to read, I have never been a fan of a series. I think because I’m just impatient. I want my happy ending tied up with a bow at the end of every book. If the other books in a series are not out, I hate waiting and then hunting for them. Lord help me if I read one out of order! Now that’s not to say I haven’t read any series’. I have read several, and enjoyed them. The ones that come to mind are The Lord of the Rings series, The Ice series, Twilight, The Hunger games and I’m currently absolutely absorbed in The Outlander series.

I have noticed recently a disturbing and can I say frustrating new trend with some authors. They are leaving us hanging. I can see how financially this might be a good idea, to encourage the purchase of the next book and the next book and the next book in a series. But seriously? Come on! Play fair. I recently purchased a book from Amazon, loaded it to my Kindle and read it, only to get to the end and find out it just abruptly stops. No ending, no finish, just stops. Nowhere did I see on the Amazon page that this was not a “stand alone” book. That if you want to know what happens you have to buy the next 3 or 4 books. Well guess what? It ain’t going to happen! At this point I’m just pissed off and refuse to buy any more. Unless that book is of the quality of The Outlander series, (and none are) I’m not biting.

Well with all that said, and off my chest. I’m currently writing a series. LOL! The first book, The Men of Tennessee, Stone Hard is out now. The second book in the series, Cast in Stone is due out in November and I’m working on the third. I can promise you this. I will never leave my reader hanging. You will get a stand-alone book with a happy ending. Hopefully you will be interested enough to want to read the other stories, but if you just decide to read one…well guess what? You will get a The End.

So in April of this year, my publisher DHP offered me a wonderful opportunity to attend an author event. I was so excited to go, and get the chance to meet people who I had only conversed with by email, not to mention getting to meet some amazing fellow authors. Even though I attended as a fan only, it was a fun, amazing day that I would not have wanted to miss for anything. But with that said it was not without its challenges. Namely me.

This is hard for me to admit, being that I am an adult woman, but I have some major fears. I don’t like heights, snakes, water, bridges, escalators, airplanes and I especially don’t like driving in Nashville. My friends know this and have accepted it, as a matter of fact they always insist on driving anytime we are taking a trip out of our town. I’m like a 100% cotton shirt, I don’t travel well. In my own hometown, I’m fearless on the road. A regular Danica Patrick, but get me in tons of traffic on roads I am unfamiliar with I’m something of a nightmare. I have such a strong fear of getting lost, even with a GPS that I am almost paralyzed with fear. My friends will not ride if I’m driving outside of our home town. My evil day job makes me drive to Nashville once a year for a meeting. I have expressed my fear to them in no uncertain terms, but no amount of begging, threatening or pouting has gotten me out of this meeting, but yet I still try.

Despite my fears I still drive to Nashville on a have-too only basis. I still cross bridges, ride escalators, when I can’t find the elevators and take walks in the woods, even though I’m looking for snakes at every step. Fear is a real thing, but you can’t let it stop you from doing what has to be done. If you fear writing that book, or you have already written it, but fear sending it in I’m here to tell you do it! Send it in. I’m afraid every time I push that send button, but I push it anyway. Fear won’t own me! But I still hate driving in Nashville.

When I finish one book, I usually wait a week before I start the next. This just gives me time to clear the past book out of my head and begin the process of plotting the next one. I usually write it in my head for several days before I actually put words on paper. During this time I like to have some fun with my three co-workers at the evil day job. These women are educated (two have doctorates) funny, and always full of good ideas. I start things off at lunch by saying, "I'm thinking about writing about..." It never fails, Elle, Carri, and Kris will jump in with some ideas about what I should add or leave out in the next story. Now given the fact none of them have ever actually read one of my books or any erotica story, some of their suggestions are pretty funny.

But one of my favorite things is when they help me pick names. Name of characters and the name of the book itself. Elle actually came up with the name Cowboy Combo for my ménage a trois and I loved it as soon as I heard it. Names of characters can at times be challenging. There is nothing that ruins a good book for me faster then a character with a name I can't pronounce, something that is so out there that it makes me cringe every time I get to it. I like names that are common, but not so common that every other person has that name. Shorter is always better, I have to type this name several times and a longer name is just time consuming. Sometimes I have been known to change the name of a character mid-book, thankfully Word makes this a simple process. When I throw a name out at the girls and they make a face, I don't use it. For example the story I just finished which will be named Cast in Stone, the second book in the series The Men of Tennessee's male lead was originally going to be named Darrell, but it got such a strong reaction of dislike from my three coworkers that I changed it to Beau. They were right once I started writing he became Beau. Thanks ladies :). Sometimes a character will just tell me what their name is and that just makes my job much easier. Piper in Cowboy Combo did this. Piper isn't a name I am that fond of, but that is what she wanted to be called. It's like having lots of children and trying to name them all. Names are important.  They evoke images in my head, for example a Heather makes me think she is pretty before I even met her and Ethel not so much. Would Suzy be just as sweet as Bertha?

So in my family I was an oddity. My dad was the ultimate outdoors man. He worked outside, he fished, he hunted, he camped out and as a single dad he took his three kids with him every chance he could. I never once in all his life, ever saw my dad read a book. It never happened. I wasn't around my mom much, but the time I was, she also never read. My younger sister and brother had rather have a root canal than read a book. They both took after dad and love to be outside. I do too, but with a book. You see where I'm going here?

I'm not sure where my love of books came from, but I have always had a very emotional connection to them. I can remember as a child reading Charlotte's Web and Little Women and crying as if my own beloved family member had just died. My family thought I was weird. Looking back now I was a little off. I would crawl up on the roof to read, hide in a closet, hold a fishing pole with one hand and a book with the other. Daddy would just shake his head. I'm pretty sure he thought I had been switched at birth and if I wasn't a shorter version of my mom I would think so too.

In thirty years of marriage my husband also never read a book, but he also did not mind me reading one (if he had we would have never made it to thirty years.) He actually bought me one of my favorite books, Honor's Splendour by Julie Garwood. It's an oldie but a goodie. I still have it, because it's good and because it's the first book he ever bought me and every time I re-read it, it makes me think of him.

I have no doubt that the two of them are hanging together in heaven, watching over me and shaking their heads that I now write erotica. Dad would be "she always had her nose in a book" and my husband would be smiling, knowing that he is always my hero's inspiration, because there is a little bit of him in every male lead that I write.

My dad on a camping/fishing trip in the early 70's. That man loved a bologna sandwich and a pabst!

When it comes to family, I won the lottery. I have cashed in the big check. I have truly been blessed with an abundance of extended family. My dad was one of eleven kids, my mom, one of sixteen. When it comes to counting aunts, uncles and cousins I beat everyone I know. They were all raised on a farm, hard-working, honest, salt-of-the-earth kind of people. But during this blog I want to talk about my maternal aunts. My mom has nine sisters. They range in age from Aunt Nancy at seventy-five to the baby, Joanie at fifty-four. I stand in awe of them. They are amazing women. They have buried husbands, children and grandchildren. They have fought cancer and each other, but in the end they remain sisters. To see them together is like seeing all the different flowers in the same beautiful garden. They are different, yet the same. And they are a constant source of both inspiration and stories. How can they not be? They are out-spoken, bossy and funny as hell.

Take for example the story my Aunt Polly told me just this week when she called. In her younger years she had followed her second husband to Texas. While he worked all day she made a new friend with a neighbor next door. After drinking mimosas this new friend announced that to surprise their husbands they should go get tattoos, Aunt Polly’s response, “why the hell not?” The two of them then proceeded to a local shop where Aunt Polly said the finest man she had ever seen waited on them. “I mean T. Lee he was a hunk! I decided right then and there I wanted my tattoo on my upper thigh. I allowed my friend to go first she had chosen a butterfly and I had decided on a yellow rose. I sat patiently waiting my turn when suddenly from the back rolls out a Cheech and Chong look alike who smelled like he had just had a one man party.” At this point I was already laughing picturing this in my head, but with her usual dry humor Aunt Polly continued. “He asked me if I was ready, and since I couldn’t think of a polite way to say hell no I’m waiting for the good looking one I said I guess.”

I had never seen this tattoo so I had to ask, “Did he at least do a good job?”

Aunt Polly took a long suffering sigh and in her Tennessee/Texas accent said, “Well I guess, I mean even stoned how hard can it be to mess up a yellow rose when you live in Texas? Of course now days at my age it looks more like a corn husk.”

I’m blessed I tell you. Blessed.